what i'm glad i left behind in college:
actually, everything else is still the same. i still rejoice when we get free cuts, i still hang out in the katipunan area, i still complain about mean teachers, i still hang out with ok people who have more or less the same personality as i do.
Labels: ateneo
sometimes, i just want to drive alone in my crv, with frou frou playing on the radio, and just get away from everything and everyone.
i sure do hope i'm not depressed.
Labels: rant
i've been in UP law school for only four days, but i feel like i've been there for a month already. it just eats up my whole time. i don't even have time to do other things anymore, even essential things like eating or taking a shower. i just couldn't compromise my sleeping time because i can't help it, i just fall asleep while reading the cases. [ this might pose as a grave problem in the future, i know. ] i always feel like i'm such an idiot, that i can't understand things quickly. how do they expect us to learn about 20 cases in a night anyway?? i know they deem it impossible, but they still expect us to do it anyhow.
my blockmates, or at least the group of people i've been hanging around with since monday, and i are getting really close already. maybe because we're the only ones who can truly understand what each other's going through and we're more receptive to each other's needs. and so, we can complain about law school and whine to each other for as long as we want. and i think one couldn't really survive in law school alone. i don't thin i can last with an anti-social personality. i always need others to update me and help me with stuff. last monday and tuesday, some of us studied at starbucks the whole day until 8 pm. i only went home early yesterday, and that was also the first time i saw bianca/patti again for the first time since sunday. we tried to establish the digest system [ digests are condensed versions of the cases ] within the group, but we didn't have enough time, even if we were only assigned two cases/articles each. actually, no matter how we do it, we still don't have enough time to study for anything. the people i hang out with are ok, and in a way, they remind me of the harkadah and how unconventional and subversive we often become. not to mention humorous. and it's nice. hehe.
i'm getting used to the UP culture day by day, although i'm still not used to walking around the campus or riding the UP ikot jeep that i always bring a car with me wherever i want to go. we've eaten at carinderias like "the beach house" by the sunken garden and mang jimmy's, places which i haven't tried before in my life. i'm enjoying it, in a way, and it's just a fresh change of scenery from what i've been used to before. nevertheless, i still miss ateneo a lot. whenever i pass by the katipunan area, i just remember all the times i've spent there for the past four years, the people i've met, how much i've changed and how much i've learned. and it's sad to think that i can never go back to those times ever. it feels really strange whenever i go to restaurants/shops in katipunan. i feel like i'm a new dimension once again, the same feeling i got when i transferred from high school to college. it's still the same familiar place, the same structures with but a few modifications, but essentially, it's an entirely different place.
as for the load in law school, well, my pile of hand-outs is just growing everyday. i've spent most of my money on books and photocopies of cases. we're actually contemplating to buy a block xerox machine so as to save money. the only problem is who's going to take it home. surprisingly, i haven't been called out in class. it's good, because no matter how hard i prepare, i couldn't think of how to go about the questions our professors are spewing out in class. i just can't study hard enough. someday i know i have to deal with the recitation like everybody else, but i hope when the time comes, i'll be prepared. i hope i left my unlucky streak in college.
i think i'm going to like it in law school. i'm starting to appreciate the value of being a lawyer and the other day, i found myself actually understanding a case and anticipating the verdict in the end. it's exciting, in a way, at the same time socially relevant. i just hope i won't be disillusioned even after i enter the profession already. and i just hope i'll get through the first sem alive.
now i'm off to the long weekend i deserve.
Labels: law school, UP
it's way past 9 pm, and i just got home from school. i spent most of the day waiting for photocopies of our readings and just bonding with my new blockmates. all i want to do right now is sleep, but i can't, because i have a load of readings/cases to study for tomorrow. why am i taking up law anyway and go through all this torture? my blockmates have also been asking themselves the same question for the past weekend. i really don't know either.
on a lighter note, i guess the day turned out ok. we had constitutional law in the morning, and we had a recitation of course. we already had a homework in that subject the week before. as expected, i slept through the hand-outs again. i'm still used to my old study habits [ if you could even call them study habits ] of studying hand-outs just before i go to sleep and actually fall asleep in the process. sometimes i trick myself into thinking that i won't fall asleep, but of course i always did. anyway, i was panicking the whole time already because i wasn't able to study the hand-outs well and all my classmates were giving really good answers and knew what they were talking about, so you could just imagine how worried and shocked i was when i was called in class. i was even reluctant to stand up but i knew i had to, so i did. and he asked me a question i really couldn't answer. i attempted to find the answers in the hand-out but for fear that i might look more like an idiot trying to look for something i don't know, i just blurted out the first thing that came to mind and acted like i knew what i was talking about even though i didn't. he asked me to repeat what i said so i did, feeling more nervous but not showing it, and i was surprised when he affirmed my answer with the words, 'very good'. i wanted to sit down already that time because i knew that my luck couldn't last beyond that.
neil visited me in school, by the way. i was surprised to see him when i went out of the classroom after my last class. i wasn't exactly thrilled to see him there. i know his intentions are good, and i have nothing against him, it just seemed so awkward having him there or any of my college friends for that matter. it's hard enough that i'm still adjusting with new people, it's even worse that i have to drag another person who belongs to an entirely different context into the picture. and i just don't want people to see us together and maybe talk about us or something. i know, i'm too paranoid. i just want to live a quiet life. that's all.
we went to the id registrar with almost the whole block. we're a pretty diverse bunch of people but we're ok nonetheless. in a way i felt like i just transferred to another block because a lot of my classmates are also ateneans.
on our way out of the registrar parking lot, my car was hit by some guy. it didn't cause any serious damage, so i let it pass.
we ate at mang jimmy's [ finally. i always hear about it from people around me but i never got to eat there ] then photocopied for the hand-outs at the lib and bought books. we went to starbucks with some classmates and read the hand-outs until dinner time. i actually had no money left so we just settled for the cheapest kind of food we could find in starbucks. i spent all my money on the books and photocopies. argh. 'saw naz at starbucks, and he was congratulating me for getting into UP. i don't even know if i deserve that kind of recognition. for one, i don't know why i even passed. i think they made a mistake in accepting me. second, i don't know if i can survive. sometimes i feel so stupid while reading the hand-outs and i always feel that my classmates are always doing better than i am. i just hope i'll survive. somehow.
now i have to discon. because i have loads of readings to finish and i'm starting to get sleepy. when i finally realize why i'm going through this everyday hell, i'll let you know.
i think i need a social life now more than ever. i don't want to be confined with anything school-related.
Labels: law school, UP
the orientation was ok, although i wasn't really vocal in class [ i'm always like that during first days. what can i say, i'm just really shy ]... i was just with oggie the whole time and we just kept on laughing at people/things and bringing up ateneo stuff. [ i just can't live without humor. i don't know what to do without the harkadah around in school. ] maybe i'm just getting tired of the getting-to-know-you process. everyone's just so nice and sometimes pretentious. everyone just tries to get on everyone else's good side and sometimes try too hard in the process. it's like a person's real self is concealed with all the sucking up and you can't really tell who she/he really is after just the first meeting. i just want to fast forward it to fourth year and see which ones i can really jive and hang out comfortably with. right now, it's just too early to know that. i know, i'm getting cynical already. and it's bad. and maybe i just miss the harkadah.
speaking of which, i met this girl, michelle, last tuesday at the reg. i was with her and tessa [ who's also from AB Psy ] almost the whole day. too bad the three of us belong to different sections. anyway, michelle eerily looked like jenny at some angles. michelle's hairstyle now even looks exactly the same as jenny's hairstyle back when we were in first year college, and they even have the same body built. and it just reminded me of our first year days, and it made me realize how much i miss the comfort of hanging out with someone or some people you really click with [ almost ] every day of your life, in almost every subject. and now i'm back to square one, in a totally new environment, with a different set of people, forced to make adjustments on my own..
but, don't worry, i'm not really anti-social/psychopathic and i still met a few new people here and there although i didn't mingle much. i'm just a slow-to-warm-up kid. there were a lot of nice people there anyway. and it was surprising that half of the population are composed of ateneans [ actually, half of my class are composed of ateneans, while the rest came from UP. nice. ].
the reality of law school is finally sinking in to my system. right now, i already have a handful of hand-outs which is equivalent to a semester worth of theo readings. and these are cases/readings for only the next three sessions. and the horror stories the alumni/students were telling awhile ago don't seem to help either. we had the mock recitation earlier, yes, most of us were humiliated in front of the whole class as expected. it was like the interview all over again. and i know it's going to be like that again and again and again. i don't think i can live everyday for the next four years feeling all nervous and jittery every class time before recitation. i don't even recite much in class. i don't even talk. agh. good luck to me.
sooo... about UP, i'm just not so used to the campus/system yet, but it'll grow on me somehow. hopefully. awhile ago, it felt really weird having to hear the UP faculty and upperclassmen speak of ateneo law school in the same way that ateneo college people spoke of la salle before. especially since i've always dreamed of going to ateneo law school...
my dad, needless to say, is really happy with the whole set-up. maybe happy is an understatement. exhaust all the words you can use synonymous to ecstatic, joyous, jubilant. he's even more excited and eager than i am [ i don't think i'm showing any signs of excitement anyway. my brain is still in summer mode. ]. he kept on calling me and texting me about the orsem, and he was doing the same thing during the reg. he also gathered all the materials [ hand-outs, books ] i need for monday already. well, that's a good thing. i just don't hope he gets carried away and expect me already to top the bar or something.
i still can't believe i only have two short days left for my summer vacation. just a few days ago, i was the most carefree person in the world, not caring what date or day it is for that matter, waking up each day and going back to sleep in a few hours not because i want to because i can. everything was just floating and free... and now i find myself immersed in a rigid system i have to comply with for the rest of my life, and i know from this point on that there's no turning back. i know, i've mentioned a few weeks ago that i want a foundation/structure in which to center my life on, but it's just a whole lot different saying it then than saying it now.
anyway, these are some helpful tips i gathered from the orsem:
again, good luck to me.
Labels: law school
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