Labels: random
this is the scene earlier, on my way home from school. this was taken along commonwealth avenue, where the state of the nation address was held. actually, our class starts at 2:30 pm, but i went to school early to study for labor [because i slept the whole night last night so i wasn't able to finish studying] and to photocopy some cases, only to find out that all classes from 12 in the afternoon onwards are cancelled. and so, i decided to go home, neil and i ate at shakey's sm fairview for lunch and tried to finish my readings for tomorrow.
i honestly don't know what happened at the event; i'm the last person anyone should rely on when it comes to current events because i very seldom read or watch the news. the news always makes me feel depressed about the state of our country so i'd rather watch something substantial and uplifting like spongebob squarepants. anyway, every year, protesters always rally on the streets, worsening the already bad traffic condition and leaving behind heaps of litter on the roads. i doubt that such rallying has done anything to change the status quo anyway.
this is the closest i can get to being socially relevant so i should be proud of myself for at least caring about the world outside my immediate sphere. hehe.
am i the only person who thinks halikinu radio is a bad idea? [fyi: it's an ateneo-oriented talk show on NU 107, every monday at 9 pm. they invite ateneo uaap players, and other varsity players, etc. as guests.] don't get me wrong, i love and respect ateneo and i like NU as well, it's just that i don't find it necessary for them to hold a sports show on NU. for one, the target audience is limited to ateneans/ateneo alumni, which comprises only a small fraction of the population. why not make a more informative/relevant show that reaches out to the general public? second, it would be open to criticisms and mockery from other schools/people, especially dlsu. well, i don't think they'll be delighted in listening. third, our varsity teams are not that good. or at least not good enough for them to have their own weekly one-hour show. fourth, i think it's just too conceited. but then again, maybe if they have the money and the connections to make it happen, why should they not make it happen? and maybe i'm just being too cynical. don't hate me for my opinion. ahee.
Labels: pilipinas
movies i watched recently..
we watched the controversial "imelda" last tuesday at eastwood with chi, grace, daisy, jen and ogs. contrary to chi, grace and jen [who slept through most of the movie]'s opinions of the film, i liked the whole thing. it is, anyway, a documentary, so i expected it to be a little boring. i didn't find it that boring though. it's a little artsy with some hint of social relevance. it has a lot of twists and turns, like her life doesn't have a low point, and the best thing about it is it's all real. and i have discovered some history trivia that i never learned in school before [or maybe i just forgot hehe]. about marcos and imelda's 11-day whirlwind courtship i think most of us know. but did you know that imelda got stabbed by an enraged maniac while she was speaking in front of a crowd during marcos' glory years? and that marcos somehow controlled the way she dressed/how much she ate? anyway, at the end of the movie, it became apparent that well, she's just human after all. and the prevailing feeling i felt was that i pity her. she had such a promising youth, and her life just crumbled down in an instant. now she seems so tame and quiet, like a declawed animal. and her histrionic behavior and distorted views about reality makes it all seem surreal. she reminds me more of my mother/grandmother. not that they have psycho issues. hehe. but they're just as beautiful and they somehow went through the same eras.
and the real highlight of the entire movie is the tour guide showing some of imelda's shoes in marikina. she was pointing out 5 pairs of shoes with the same style and color, and said that "it's always being worn that's why it's 5". eh? evil evil me. hehe.
and we also watched "i, robot" at eastwood yesterday with some blockmates. i liked the effects, 'hated the ho-hum script. the effects remind me of "minority report", with the astig looking cars and architecture. the story reminds me of "the matrix" or "bicentennial man" and other related movies with themes on robots developing human like attributes, some of which having the capacity the conquer the earth. in totality, it was satisfactory.
things i haven't done in a long time...
last friday, jenny, joy and i went wallclimbing at power up, tandang sora. the last time i did that was 2 years ago. my belay card was 1 year expired already. i wasn't able to climb as much as joy and jenny did, because i easily got exhausted. the aero classes didn't do me any good. hehe. when i met up with jenny, the rain started to pour, and it didn't stop until around 8 pm that night. traffic was really bad in katipunan because of floods [hayyy malas talaga. pinagsama pa kami. hehe], so jenny just decided to spend the night here.
earlier today, i started with the art workshop by fernando sena, in pmwa. the only time i attended a workshop was way back in 1993-1994. i don't know why i waited 10 long years before i started to attend such classes again. it felt comfortable drawing again with a 6B staedler pencil. although while i was drawing, i realized i didn't progress much from the time i stopped drawing when i was 12. argh. regrets. i think it's ironic that when i was in high school/college, i always felt that it was too late to take up classes or to learn anything new, and now that i'm way past the adolescent or even teenage years, i don't see anything wrong with them. besides, i need a different atmosphere apart from law school.
hayyy.. emo nanaman..
i'm going through difficult times once again, trying to put my past and my insecurities behind me. believe me, it's a struggle. argh. of all the bad things about me, i HATE insecurity the most. next to that is my tendency to not let go of the past. i envy people who can strut around in their spag straps no matter how big they are or whose sense of confidence just radiates even if they're not objectively physically attractive. ako, i just can feel all the ugliness steaming through my skin all the time. hay nako. it's hard to be ugly in such a materialistic and beauty oriented world. i'm remembering a lot of bad things again that have been haunting me for years. i seriously have to put them aside already. damn neurosis.
and i also hate people or things who disturb me in my comfortable little bubble. and those who have hurt me in some way, in any way, in the past. especially those who unintentionally busted my ego and made me feel miserable because of my physical appearance [check previous paragraph]. gawd i feel like kuzco. i hate people who throw off my groove. hehe.
and friendster really is the work of the devil. 'makes me see people i don't have to actually see anymore.
and i know you have no clue about what i'm talking about. hay.
wtf???
what is it with all the billboards in edsa with pictures of guys in their underwear????? if you look to the south bound side of edsa, opposite nepa q-mart, you would see this big "hang ten" billboard, which used to have a picture of nancy castiglione, with a picture of some abnoy looking chinese guy wearing only a pair of briefs. [the worse part is, they have the same billboard in edsa. same guy, same undewear, different pose that doesn't make it any better] move a few meters, and you would see JR - or rather Jay-R's picture. fyi, Jay-R is that hip hop guy with the square jaw singing senti songs. in short, i hate him. he's apparently a model for "bench", and he's pictured on the billboard with, you guessed it, only a pair of briefs on. move a few more meters from that and you will see the "penshoppe" billboard, with three guys supposedly in a library, but lo and behold, they're wearing their underwear. what the hell is up with that?? i don't know why, but girls in underwear look more decent than guys in underwear. or maybe it just has something to do with the models they've chosen. hindi sila nakakatuwa!!! if i could only pass an ordinance banning such billboards for grave scandal in any place in manila. people would get into accidents with those pictures up there.
Labels: artsy fartsy, movies, rant
our insurance teacher, by the way, used to be my dad's teacher back when he was in law school. meaning he's just a few years away from turning 80. [my dad is in his late 50's. up to now, he has't disclosed what his real age is] and yet he still has the guts to smoke constantly and hit on my blockmate who's young enough to be his granddaughter. sometimes 'makes me wonder why he's still alive. maybe he still has a lot of deranged law school kids to inspire. [or, baka pag masamang damo ka matagal ka talaga mamatay. hehe.] he's apparently very intelligent and has a sharp memory. good thing he didn't recognize my family name and asked me if i was related to his friend/past student. because if he did, i would probably deny that we had any relations at all.
after class, i realized that i had this huge stain at the back of my jeans [it's a girl thing. why do i even bother typing it on the web?]. i went home to change, and to soothe my ruffled feathers, had my hair fixed at the salon. it now looks sleek and shiny. best part is, it's not as unmanageable and fuzzy as it used to. hehe vanity.
badminton and high school
yesterday, joy and i played badminton at celebrity sports plaza. i realized how long it has been since i last played when, after playing, i could feel my thigh muscles ache every time i would attempt to walk or sit down. we had a pretty bad start; i guess it was obvious from the way we played that we both haven't held a badminton racket for a long time. we shamefully looked at the moms/lolas playing uninterruptedly, smashing the shuttlecock with greater force than we ever exerted the whole "game". every time we were forced to have a break because we were just too damn tired, we would just look at each other abashedly, feeling like hopeless lolas developing rayuma. the game got a little better later on though, and i remembered how addictive it is. joy and i planned on going wallcimbing next week [*naks*], another sport we haven't engaged in for years already. i'll try to go regularly the gym this week just to rev myself up for wallcimbing. yeah. feeling athlete. hehe. i hope all this does something good for my flabs.
i actually haven't seen joy in a while, last time was when she came to my birthday. i wasn't even able to talk to her much then. yesterday, we talked again about the perennial topic of high school life and teachers and we again had our series of "whatever-happened-to [fill in name of high school batchmate]" which usually got answered by what friendster profiles say. it's a good thing that there are still people like her i can talk to who haven't changed a bit since high school. i can name a few - or a lot - who are hardly recognizable because of too thick make up and forced conyo accents. it's just regretful these people have outgrown their childhood innocence pretty fast and are too caught up with the so-called "real world" already, and are more focused on showing off their new lifestyles more than anything else. some were even duped into thinking that the wilder they get, the better, so they just throw off their prim and proper catholic high school selves and turn into someone more daring. they seem to have forgotten how fun and simple it is to just sit back and talk with friends, without all the pretense and fancy talk. i find it difficult relating with such people already. buti pa kami, jolog pa rin. hehe.
Labels: high school, law school
bloggers' block
i usually come up with something to write in my blog whenever i'm stuck in traffic or when my mind wanders off someplace else during class. but when i'm in front of the computer, my mind is totally blank. or at least my thoughts are all tangled up that i couldn't come up with one coherent paragraph. my apologies to those people [yes, all 5 of you. hehehe] reading this because this is going to be another very random entry.
long time
it has been quite some time since i last updated this blog. i've been too busy with school [hyuk, i'm actually studying now. nakakakilabot. bwahaha.], i was down with the flu and had asthma for one week, and i spend all my free time, if not sleeping, watching my new favorite channel, ETC.
ETC/Entertainment Channel/Channel 20 Sky Cable airs US based shows, and the best thing is, most of them are up to date. i love "knock first", and i find "queer eye for the straight guy" amusing [neil and i have been obsessed with interior design lately hehe]. i even watch "what i like about you" with jenny garth [remember 90210? gawd that's so ancient] and amanda bynes. what makes the whole show funnier are the secondary characters. but admittedly, amanda bynes is not so bad either. i used to hate her from "all that" and "the amanda show", but now she's okay. at least she's not as pa-cutesy and teeny bopper like hillary duff [can i just say, kacelyn francisco ng states :P]. anyone's better than hillary duff. raven simone is better than hillary duff. lindsay lohan is better than hillary duff. kris aquino is better than hillary duff. anyway, ETC is also showing reruns of "will and grace". the show has such timeless humor that i still finish the entire show everytime i catch it on tv.
and just for the record, this isn't a paid advertisement. hehe. that channel is lucky they get free endorsements. as if i'm a credible media critic-person anyway.
unexpected break
we found out early this morning that we don't have classes tomorrow! YEAH. actually, only classes from 10 am to 4 pm were called off due to a "summit". regularly, our classes on thursdays are from 8 am 12 in the afternoon, but since our 8 am class was moved to 230-4 pm, it fell on the same time as the summit. and so, we don't have classes the whole day. as i always say, maswerte pa rin pala ako. hehe. although most of my close friends would beg to differ. anyway, these free cuts are a rarity this sem [our teachers go to class regularly now, plus the saturday class took half the fun out of weekends], so we get unusually ecstatic whenever we get such breaks.
before we had our first subject today, we learned that our 2:30 class was also cancelled. whoopee. 'went to greenbelt with neil [it was actually the first time i went to greenbelt since i got home from the states] and ate at recipes [we had lunch at 3 pm already due to the bad traffic], lined up to buy the newly opened gonuts donuts [the sensationalized "philippine version of krispy kreme" daw. it's undeniably good, but it can be substituted by mister donut anytime. besides, nothing compares to the real thing. i miss krispy kreme real bad. :p ], watched "the prince and me" [which was, from the title itself, predictable; think "the beautician and the beast", "the princess diaries", "chasing liberty" (i never watched it though) and all those other royalty-commoner cheezy love stories. i didn't hate it, but i didn't like it that much either. eversince i watched "my sassy girl" and "50 first dates", and well, even "shrek", i couldn't seem to find another love story that would come up to their standard. nevertheless, i liked julia stiles, with about the same degree as i hate hillary duff. so that would be pretty strong. and i am starting to see a resemblance between julia and penny sy. hehe], then i shopped for gym clothes at nike [i need something to motivate me to work out. i'm getting all flabby all over already].
i arrived home and my mom reprimanded me for going home "late". yes, i still live in a house where coming home at 9 pm on a school night is a mortal sin. first, i won't consider it a school night since we don't have classes tomorrow. second, neil drove me home, so i don't sense any danger in going home at that hour. third, there have been times for the past week when i ate dinner alone because no one else was home, and i thought tonight was going to be the same. but of course, i assumed wrong. hay.
hindsight
a few months ago, while i was on vacation at my brother's house in the states, the crazy thought that "studying law is probably better than doing household chores, taking care of the kids and attending to my sick mother" crossed my mind. right now, i don't know what possessed me to even think that, especially with the strange feeling in my gut every time i anticipate that i would be called for recitation in class and with my panic mode every morning after discovering that i overslept again and left all my books and handouts in a strange array all over my bed again. and although my female fickle-mindedness probably has something to do with this changing perspective, i still would like to believe that it all stems from hindsight bias. after the event, people always appear to be a little wiser, speaking about the past situation as if they could've easily weaved out of it while it was happening. "sus, eh mag-alaga lang pala ng bata eh. ang dali dali lang no'n. bakit ba ako nagrereklamo noon? now law school, that's something else..."
same goes for the single-attached issue. back when we were in high school/in my early years of college, i would inconsistently whine about not having a boyfriend and i would even talk to most of my single friends for hours at night, just complaining about our pathetic state and why oh why we are not attached like our better off peers. years later, the same friends i've talked to before would complain about having a boyfriend, and how they want their individuality and freedom back, and they [okay, WE] would often wonder why we kept on complaining before, when back then, life was simpler, we didn't have much problems yet and we still had more time for ourselves. i later on discovered that what i wanted was something else, that the so-called "lack" i felt back when i was in my kadiri-emo stage is rooted more on self-actualization and self-confidence that i couldn't derive from any person at all. i always thought having a boyfriend would solve everything but lo and behold, it didn't.
and lately, hearing about some of my friends' "high" moments with their new found special someones would bring me back to my stupid high school self and think all over again why i don't have a guy and all that crap. but, everytime that happens, i am luckily able to snap myself back to reality and discover that all is well in life. really, i'm convinced that i'm better off being single because i think i'm innately a loner. and i'm pretty contented with my current state - i actually find comfort in having too much to do in school that i have no time to think about unnecessary concerns. i'm also easier to please, as opposed to being attached, when i always have a lot of expectations especially with the other half. now, just shove a good dessert [toblerone fondue makes me drool hehe] under my nose [parang aso ba hehe], give me a good cd, let me watch an extra challenge episode with bernard palanca in it, rearrange my room into something ikea-worthy and i'll be smiling from ear to ear. being attached also sometimes makes you become more detached with the world that you fail to see the little happy things that make life beautiful.
conclusion, i guess i have to be thankful that i'm happily unattached, but i still have my best friend and close friends around me to keep me company. not to mention all the schoolwork i have to contend with that makes me forget about other things. law school has a purpose after all. hehe.
life in law school
i used to feel threatened by one of our professors, papa's brod in his frat, the one i wrote about recently who promised that he will call me often for recitation just because he knows my father personally. well, he later on proved to be one of the best, if not the best, teachers our class ever had. for one, his memory technique works [don't memorize, absorb. also, repeat things over and over and put them in diagrams]. second, he's encouring. and third, he actually motivates me and my other classmates to study [although i often still fail by sleeping in between cases hehe]. and this motivation is not grounded on fear; it's more of shame. shame that i would be letting him down if i don't study, shame that i am not matching up to the kind of effort he's putting in, shame that it's going to reach my dad if i don't do well. hehe. and honestly, despite the fact that the subject matter is such a bore, making it all easier to understand makes it a bit more interesting. and sometimes i carry along that attitude with regard to other subjects. i just hope something good will come out of all this. like i will get a good grade or something more ambitious like i will pass the bar. or something even more ambitious like i will pass the bar with flying colors.
what i've watched recently
last week, i watched:
Labels: law school, movies
ma'm chit still kept on calling me "ms. bacaro". and later on she mixed me up with chi. she called my surname when she reprimanded her for talking to ogs. blame the senility on her age. let it pass.
i'm still not used to the idea of going to school on saturdays. i know we've had saturday classes back in college, but it wasn't as stressful. besides, our teacher back then was lenient with the attendance. we could come to class 1 hour late and he wouldn't even care.
anyway, i was browsing my old planner, and i realized that i miss my college life, especially senior year. i was doing all the things i wanted, and schoolwork wasn't as heavy and downright boring. just imagine this: school requirements include research on art therapy for counseling class, writing about "persons who have exhibited good will" for philo, attending group prayer meetings for theo and criticizing art films in media class [my elective]. and i even had time for gym and kythe activities [the org for kids with cancer]. and i was with my good friends in all my pursuits. and yes, i did learn. everything was just so happy and feel-good that i didn't even consider going to school as work. and now i'm whisked off to law school where i'm subjected to torture everyday. where did all the color in my life go?
i feel like i'm not accomplishing much and law school is hindering me from doing things i really want. i just want to resume drawing and other right minded brain stuff. someday, i'll take up graphic design and take up a good sport i can constantly participate in.
i bought 3 cds today at eastwood, where neil and i ate lunch - audioslave, maroon 5 and rivermaya. surprisingly, i liked the rivermaya album. i'm not really much of a rivermaya fan, and i don't think rico blanco's cute either, like most people would. i like their songs, but i wouldn't buy every single album they release. but i liked the latest one. i thought "a love to share" and "balisong" were the best songs, but the others proved to be just as good. and each song has a distinct character, so it's not something anyone would get tired of listening to.
Labels: law school
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brushes for the banner from echoica, encre and trashion art.
