random thoughts... i arrived home early today. if i weren't here, i could've been: 1.) at the moro gym, burning off all the calories i gained a few hours ago, probably trying to get ahead of other sweaty bodies with the treadmill or the crosstrainer; or 2.) at school, at the talk which our teacher earlier requested - more of begged - us to attend. but we didn't want to stay for hours in a theater that smells and looks like a dirty old wooden cabinet. once a week of enduring such torture is enough. she said that noli de castro would be there - all the more reason not to attend. i heard that melanie marquez was there also, with her lawyer husband who's last name, apparently, is "Lawyer" [uh.. Atty. Lawyer?]. if i did attend the talk, i would've done so not because the vice president of the country was there, but because melanie marquez attended. i'd like to commend her for all the good laughs the harkadah had whenever we remembered her name and all her misquotes ["direk, when you get to new york, you'll sell hotcakes" "i don't eat meat, i'm not a carnival" "don't judge my brother, he's not a book"] someday we'll compile a book in her name and i bet that would "sell hotcakes". bwehe.

satya: a newly discovered veggie restaurant

neil and i tried the veggie restaurant, "satya", at xavierville avenue earlier. i found out all about it from a website [ i have been spending too much time on the net :P ]. we're always up for anything exotic and healthy. we tried the "chicken curry" which was actually made of gluten or veggie meat, but i swear, you wouldn't know the difference. their barbecue was good also. and they even serve desserts. the whole meal was gooood. maybe even better than "Greens". but neil and i didn't want to concede to the idea because "Greens" has been one of our favorite restaurants already for so long and we didn't want to demote its status. there was a whole space on one part of the wall with actors/actresses' comments/blessings. claudine barretto's name was there and other famous artists. the place has probably been running for so long that it already established a reputation. thank god we found out about it before it closes down. hehe.

old friend..

'had a long chat last night with claudette through ym [ she's my friend since grade 6 but we only became close back in college ]. she's currently working in the states at a daycare center. 'talked about life in the states vis a vis life in the phil., old teachers, and everything artsy. i learned that she and her guy are opening a shop sometime next month. it's more of a space where artists can converge, watch art films, buy lomo cams and shirts, etc. i really liked the idea. i'm definitely looking forward to its opening next month. i actually admire her for accomplishing a lot of things already at such a young age, and for knowing exactly what she wants, considering short term and long term goals. she seems to have a timetable for everything - career, marriage, etc. and her experience abroad is presumably molding her into a better person. gawd. i wish i was that mature. i couldn't even decide what to wear tomorrow. much more what i want to do with my life..

'bought new cd's

astig ang cd ni matthew jay and snow patrol!!

they're of entirely different genres, but they have this distinct similarity. they've been blaring on my cd player and car stereo for two days straight now. i decided to take a break from mainstream NU 107 music for a while. wala lang. listening to them makes me feel like i'm living in my own independent movie with a good soundtrack. hehe. weirdo ba.

have to study now..

peste. ilang ulit ko ng binabasa yung case na irerecite ko bukas - under "double jeopardy" - na wala namang kinalaman sa "double jeopardy". aaaagggghhh....

i really hate it that our teacher has to know my dad and he has to call me every meeting and for every weird case.

i really want to do good in school and everything else and keep a balanced life.

wala lang. just thinking aloud.

Labels: food, high school, law school, music

  ¶ 5:52 PM 0 comments links to this post  

  walang kwenta.. this has been one of my most unproductive weekends ever

i skipped school last saturday..

without my parents' knowledge of course. while for some cutting classes is the norm, i don't cut class unless it's really urgent, or when all my friends are cutting class, or when i haven't prepared much for discussion, and attending class would only make things worse. i studied last friday night, but i overslept again, so i wasn't able to finish everything. i drove all the way to school and decided in the parking lot on whether i should choose fight or flight, and i chickened out. i'd rather go to the gym than have some 80 year old teacher cuss at me. i won't be able to give any substantial answers anyway just in case i get called for recitation. and i just hate the stressful feeling i get everytime the teacher draws a card. i always fear that he's going to call my name.

last saturday night, we planned a night out [dinner/movie] with the harkadah [except weki, who had work, and jonel, who had another singing event hehe]. di and i planned it two weeks ago. joan requested that we go somewhere in makati, since it woudl be more convenient for her, so we decided to go to greenbelt 3. neil and i met up with penny there at around 6:30 pm. jenny, di and joan informed us that they were going to be late. and so, neil, penny and i ate dinner at oody's then strolled around the place to kill time while waiting for the others. jenny and james arrived at around 8:30 so we went with them when they had dinner at the foodcourt. later on, we found out that di and joan couldn't make it anymore. penny had to go home at around 10:30, and since we didn't feel like going around the mall [with all the high school/college people in their todo porma get up crowding the place], we just decided to go home. haaa.. in short, we went all the way to greenbelt to wait for people and eat at oody's, which we could've done someplace else like tomas morato or galle. we weren't even able to watch a movie. note to self: don't plan another gimmick. i remember the exact same thing happened back when we were in second year college. but that was worse, 'cause back then, wala talagang tao sa mall/sa "where else?" because it was a weekday. it just feels bad afterwards when things don't turn out the way you want them to. well, at least i was able to see penny with her longer hair and "slimmers world" body. hehe. and jenny with her new braces. hehe. and at least we were able to exchange stories about each other's life.

since i came home late last night, i woke up late, missing the service at church. i attended art class though, but all i did was finish the drawing i made last week. i decided to redo my homework. felt tip markers are really my worst medium. and so, i left the class 30 minutes earlier.

the only productive things that happened to me this weekend was my gym session last saturday, 2 new skirts i bought from galle earlier today, going to the derma, and eating at good restaurants. i haven't even studied yet. [so what else is new]

there's a fiesta today in fairview. i didn't know we still celebrate those things. oh well. pig out nanaman!!

Labels: harkadah, law school

  ¶ 3:50 PM 0 comments links to this post  

  yahoo no classes for two days straight! that's even longer than my regular "weekend", if you could call a day and a half of no classes a weekend.

yesterday, i attempted to study for property in the morning. the weather got a little better in the afternoon, still no sun though. the whole city sky was dim. neil and i went to healthy options at shangri-la to buy more non-fat soy milk to satisfy my "healthy" lifestyle [kuno]. everyone else was at the mall. kind of defeats the purpose why schools cancelled classes in the first place. not that i'm complaining. afterwards, we passed by valle, the location where dan and the rest of his production team are going to shoot an mtv. neil and i planned to work as "production assistants" [in short, utusan hehe] but obviously i won't be able to help out consistently because law school's in the way. they were supposed to shoot today, but because of the bad weather they decided to move it next week. i hope my sched's not too tight next week.. but with all the cancellations, i'm sure our professors would schedule make up classes.. hmm..

* * *

i'm planning to fix up my life again. i don't know how, but i will. at least i hope i will. everyday, i attempt to do better in school, to study, not to fall asleep while studying, to diet, to go to the gym regularly, not to dwell so much on unimportant matters, to not shop impulsively, but i always end up with my old lifestyle. damn. nobody's perfect, i guess? that's such an escapist justification.

* * *

nga pala...

belated happy birthday to my sister in the states [who turned 31 last aug. 25]

and happy birthday to sofia [neil's niece] who's 1 year old today.

time flies..

Labels: law school

  ¶ 9:10 AM 0 comments links to this post  

  wala lang it hasn't stopped raining since last night. i heard there's a storm coming. 'makes me want to snuggle back under my sheets and sleep the whole day. but noooo, i have to cram like mad for torts and labor since i slept for 8 hours last night. argh. damn [mild case of] narcolepsy. or maybe i'm just too bored with what i'm doing that i sleep through it. i'm starting to hate the rain. it won't do me good anyway. they rarely suspend classes in law school because of heavy rains.

i got called for recit yesterday for crimpro, and as always, it was terrible. my dad's brod has been calling me every single meeting. maybe every time he's in the mood for comic relief he calls me. i can almost hear the drum sequence, like what they do in late night tv shows every time i give a stupid answer. because of that, he threatened to tell my dad about it and call me twice every meeting. thanks for the added pressure, i really needed that.

and when i told my mom about it [wrong move], she gave me the usual, "eh ba't di mo naaral? yan na nga lang gagawin mo" and i answered that i read all the cases, but it was nearly impossible to actually know everything by heart, and that it's not the only subject i study for. and she goes "ba't ka kasi labas ng labas? mag-aral ka na lang kaya?" and i told her that even if i study everything, things just got messed up in class because i get all rattled and my brain just flies someplace. and i didn't want to listen to her anymore because she would never understand since she has never been subjected to such pressure. and i can't tell my dad about it either, because unlike him, i'm not a bright fast-thinker. times like these, i always rethink whether i should be in law school at all.

so, why am i doing bad in law school anyway?

1. the freudan approach: maybe i really don't like what i'm doing, and my subconscious is the culprit, making me say/write/think the wrong answers all the time.
   
2. the fighter approach: maybe if i work harder things would be a little better
   
3. the religious approach: maybe i'm not praying hard enough
   
4. the realistic approach: maybe i'm just really stupid and i'm not cut fit for law school. sigh... i just feel like an idiot. bobo talaga. i don't know. i really feel that i shouldn't have have passed UP law in the first place. everyone else is just soo smart and i feel so left out. and things do not get better even if i try harder. something tells me i should give this all up - wala ka ng pag-asa, tanga ka talaga eh. i'm just waiting for the day until i finally get kicked out. i'm doing my best, but despite that, i know i'll still get kicked out. because no matter how hard i try, hindi ko talaga kaya 'to.
   

* * *another alternative job for me: working on independent films/mtv's. last sunday, neil and i attended a meeting with dan's production team, they're currently working on mtv's for certain local artists. i really want to join and contribute, but of course, i have to see first what i can do with the little time left i have from law school [or rather from sleeping, going to the gym, art class, etc. hehe] pero ang saya sana..

* * *i went to the gym yesterday. boxing is such a good anti-stress sport. 'makes me feel relieved about everything - especially the bad recits - afterwards. sure beats going home and sulking in my room the rest of the afternoon. i'll surely end up sleeping and not accomplishing anything by doing that. i also follow a regular routine now at the gym. dati kasi walang progress, i just do whatever i feel like doing and sometimes cheat when i feel too tired already. sana naman pumayat na ako nyan. hehe.

Labels: law school

  ¶ 7:26 AM 0 comments links to this post  

  toby
this is my adorable 1 year old nephew, toby. how i wish i could squeeze him tight and pinch his cheeks. i miss him and sophia so much. i just love babies. babies ha, hindi children. there's a whole world of difference..

Labels: cuteness, family, toby

  ¶ 8:02 PM 0 comments links to this post  

  eternal sunshine of a spotless mind I answered a few questions and got this free evaluation from the lacuna inc. site: [fyi: lacuna inc. is the group responsible for deleting people's memories in the movie, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. it must be really nice if such a process actually exists, even if it's not a guaranteed procedure. in any case, it's better than trying to "delete" memory on your own. especially if pieces of the past just cling to you like lint.]

You are the prime candidate for the Lacuna procedure. While your past does not dictate your actions completely, it still affects your everyday life. You seem to have multiple memories that could be erased. Several initial visits will focus on sorting and removing these main issues. Any subsequent treatment will then be directed toward sustaining your newfound level of happiness. Please contact us soon, so your transformation can begin.

Let us know if you are interested in our Preferred Customer membership card. This card will give you discounts on almost all of our regular services. By becoming a member you will also receive our monthly publication that is full of news, success stories, and special deals and offers

as if that wasn't expected yet.

i still think about the movie, specifically those scenes at the beach house towards the end of the film that trigger a lot of conflicting emotions. it's such a hard feeling to battle between holding on and moving away. whichever the case, you end up being hurt. hay...

anyway, is there such a thing as "fate"? like you're forever destined with a particular person no matter what happens? and all wordly forces would work to bring you together regardless of other circumstances?

excuse the weirdness. it's 3 am and i need to get some sleep already. i'm way behind my quota [i.e., 8 hours of sleep a night].

Labels: movies

  ¶ 3:05 AM 0 comments links to this post  

  i think i lost my brain somewhere... yesterday was probably one of my most duh moments. i know i'm normally absent-minded, but my mind was working extraordinarily slow yesterday.

case in point:

1. we were supposed to recite Rule 115 of the Rules of Criminal Procedure yesterday, the whole section on the Rights of the accused during trial. I was confident that I was going to recite the whole thing correctly, despite the fact that I crammed memorizing more than half of it. I would even point out mistakes from my other blockmates' recitations who were called before me. when it was my turn, I missed out one whole sentence, an important and simple one at that. I only realized it a few seconds after I took my seat. ARGH. stupid. it felt really bad because i know that i did everything i can, that i did my best. i've been reciting the whole thing correctly and completely in my head the whole morning, and i missed a substantial portion. maybe i focused too much on the other more confusing parts, or maybe i just wanted to get it over with already, or maybe, just maybe, my brain was flying somewhere else again. i know i'm probably being too shallow, but, sayang lang..

2. at the gym, i found out that i got a missed call and some messages from my blockmates. apparently, i left my lunch bag in class, and one of my blockmates had to take it home so she could bring it to me tomorrow. argh. i hate leaving things behind. it's just inconvenient on me and everyone else. anyway, i was thankful at least that my blockmates were able to recover it. so what if it only contains leftover tuna.

3. still, at the gym, while entering the women's locker room, i found myself trying to open the door to the room with my locker key. and it wasn't even locked. i looked around after i realized what i was doing to see if anyone witnessed my blunder. good thing there was no one around/behind me that time. gawd. that would've been humiliating. it doesn't make me feel any better about my stupidity though.

and of course i had to post this on the web so the whole world can know.

i feel old once again...

i realized that i appreciate 80's songs not because of all the 80's remake music in the soundtrack of "50 first dates" or because no doubt made a rendition of "it's my life" or that jason mraz sang "i'll stop the world and melt with you". i like 80's songs because i'm actually old enough to remember them, and that during the time when such songs were being aired on the radio, i already had the mental capacity to remember them. not that it's a bad thing though. most of the time, 80's originals are even better than their 90's-2000's versions. to hell with all the local artists and boy band versions of good 80's music. lahat na lang nirerevive. don't they have anything else to play?

while working out earlier [naks, working out daw], the gym instructor told me, "ang daming bata ngayon dito, 'no?" i thought he was referring to the adolescent ateneo high boys, so i said, "oo nga, ang daming high school." and he goes, "hinde, college na yang mga yan". and i wanted to point out, "bakit, halos magka-age lang naman kami a.." but i knew i would've been in denial again so i just shut up.

one time, i came home to see my 6 year old and 8 year old nieces watching TV, showing a couple in the middle of a kissing scene. and i found myself saying "what are you watching???" maybe even complete with the shocked *gasp*. and patti replied, "it's just even stevens" [some series on the disney channel]. and i realized that i was overreacting. but i think i'll be correct in saying that kids nowadays are exposed to more explicit scenes than before, and kissing scenes in adolescent/supposedly kiddie shows involve younger children. they're not even adolescents, they're very young children. agh. kaya nagkakaganyan ang mga bata eh. hay. just call me Lola.

* * *
one thing to be happy about: i'm taking up boxing! yey! i already bought a pair of gloves earlier. erika recommended it before, and the boxing trainer convinced me earlier that it's a good exercise to develop abs [he said he used to coach judy anne santos. hmm...] and besides, i could use it on some people...

'need to study now. i'm not yet done with more than half of the readings.

Labels: duh, law school, random

  ¶ 5:16 AM 0 comments links to this post  

  pat's despedida 2


at pat's house. wex, penny, pat, joan, me and neil

yesterday, we went to pat's house for her despedida lunch. i just found out that she's leaving already this saturday for the states, and that might be the last time we'll see her until she comes home for vacation. [pat! we wish you the best and we're all praying for you :D]

we [harkadah] were supposed to spend the night at her house, but plans changed. pat invited a lot of other ateneo people for lunch, which was expected, since she was the sanggu pres. it seemed like a reunion - i saw people i haven't seen or had contact with in years. i spent the whole afternoon with the harkadah and some other close friends - 'updated each other about life as always, reminisced about college, laughed about everything else. [we were all laughing at the scandalous "hang ten" billboard. apparently, everyone hates it. i thought it was just me and neil. poor guy. he's from ateneo pa naman. hehe. i'll post a pic soon. mwehe.] i just love these laid back moments. we stayed there until around 4:30 pm. no one wanted to leave, and pat didn't want us to leave yet also, but she had to attend a wedding so we were forced to go.

pat's going to study at stanford for 5 long years. 5 years. when you think about it, it is quite a long period of time. hopefully, by that time, i already have a stable [and lucrative. very lucrative. hehe] job. grabe. we're all growing up. i can just imagine seeing everyone else 5 years from now, being all successful, having a stable job, maybe even getting settled down already. well, i'm actually not so sure about me. everyone else is passionate about what they're doing, and i'm not even serious about law school... i sometimes feel ashamed talking to people about it because i have this gut feeling i'm not going to be successful in that field. and when people ask me "if i still sleep" because they assume that as a law student, i should be studying and i shouldn't have time for anything else, i just give a smile and realize all over again that i'm not doing well and someday, i'll be liable for all this slacking.

agh. i still feel a lot like an irresponsible little kid. i'm guessing "13 turning 30" is a movie i could perfectly relate to. one day you're a pimply adolescent, and you suddenly find yourself forced to work and be responsible, wondering how you spent your life all these years.

penny and the others were also contemplating the idea of leaving abroad for further studies. i always wanted to study abroad - i always perceive it as such a novel and refreshing experience. maybe someday i'll study there somehow, i don't know what i'll take, maybe masters related to law, or psych, or some comm/art related course. anwyay, i shouldn't be thinking about the future. i have too much in my hands at the present already that i don't have to give myself some things to worry about.

pictures from yesterday:

weki, joan and me; neil and cesar's intimate moment. hehe



cesar and bart. hehehe; julie and vinci




me and neil


friendster profile worthy pics




cesar, model daw ng nike. palitan ang hang ten billboard!!; penny; joan; pat

eternal sunshine of a spotless mind

i finally got to watch this movie. i like jim carrie when he's all serious [think truman show], although in such movies he still retains his comic personality. the movie was really good. basta, galing. it's artsy [ergo, weird], and i don't think everyone will be able to appreciate it, as evidenced by some people leaving the theater in the middle of the movie. but i liked it. it's emotionally heavy. the scenes are a bit hazy, giving it a surreal feel, para kang nananaginip. and most of the time, the movie takes you into __ subconscious anyway so i guess it was just apt. in the movie, it's possible to have one's memory on someone deleted in order to get over him/her. people who know me really well would attest that if such technology exists right now, i would be the first person to avail of it. and actually, that's what i've been doing my whole life. it's my way of coping. when i don't like people, or when i don't like a certain part of my life, i try to delete them from memory, pretend we never had a past, and go one with life as if nothing happened. the movie made me think though - would it be better to erase someone from memory, good and bad times with him/her included, or to still remember him/her, but hold on to the good memories? remembering good memories could either make your life sweeter and stronger [if you're an optimist] or they could destroy you and make you regret things even more [if you're a pessimist]. i'm a pessimist, so i think i just answered my own question.

another movie to add to my favorite love stories list. [yes, next to "my first romance". bwahaha.]

art workshop

'had the second day of art class earlier. neil came with me, but he just stayed on the side, finishing a book. we did some figure sketching - we drew this model who could pass for one of max alvarado's minions. our teacher, mr. sena kept on making fun of him, instructing me not to copy his face if i don't want to get nightmares at night. hehe. he's such a jolly, laid back person. i've never been this relaxed in class since i made it to law school. [hmm.. i wonder why?] i had a great time just sketching the whole time, and it felt proud to hear more than one person, our teacher included, commending me for a work well done. it made me think all over again what the heck am i doing in law school when i could probably contribute more to something art/comm related. but of course, i have to push the thought behind because there's really nothing i could do about it. i can't make a career out of my hobby. and i'm just contented that i'm still able to keep it as a hobby and there's no need really to push it aside to make way for "more important" things. we have this homework - we have to sketch several figures of people - and we need to pass it on sunday. i don't know how i'll find time to do them.

makaaral na nga. i feel guilty, i didn't study for anything yet the whole weekend. heehee.

Labels: artsy fartsy, ateneo, harkadah, movies

  ¶ 7:25 PM 0 comments links to this post  

  insurance midterms finally over... and i'm not satisfied with my performance. i memorized things that didn't come out on the exam and missed out on a few important others which appeared in the test. ARGH. i HATE it whenever that happens. i didn't intend to study selectively, and i thought i covered almost everything. and then i had to realize that i didn't study this and that on exam day. i'm certain i already missed 30% of the test. argh. i hate it. i hate it. well at least it's over and i can breathe now. another exam coming up on friday...

after the exam, we [me, chi, grace, jenn, nico, oggs. daisy had to go home to tarlac] went to galleria, ate at sushi-ya then watched "collateral" starring tom cruise. the movie was about this lawyer turned psycho who was on a hunt to kill his the witnesses and the lawyer of the opposition. what a perfect movie for people who just came out of a stressful insurance midterm exam. a no-brainer like "garfield" would've been more appropriate. i fell asleep in the middle of the movie, although i don't know why because i had a good night's sleep the other night [i fell asleep on my notes again as usual]. blame it on the dragging scenes in between the movie. i liked the story and the ending though. it reminded me so much of "phone booth", with the psycho killer and the action scenes. and in both movies, ang galing mashado ng villain to the point that it becomes unbelievable. like how could one man, outnumbered by the armed police, still manage to kill everyone and escape in the end? it's so much like lito lapid 80's flicks. hehe. anyway, i'm not a movie critic, so if you want an in depth movie review, go to oggs' site.

we don't have classes today, because of the UPCAT. this is actually the first real saturday i'll be having since the sem started. no insurance subject, no cussing chain smoker teacher in front, no palpitations and shortness of breath while anticipating to be called for recitation. later on, we're going to pat's house for lunch [mongolian buffet! yay!] before she leaves for the US next week.

art class..

'can't wait till the next art class [tomorrow]. enrolling in the workshop is probably the best decision i made since.. uhh.. since i decided to buy a new and working digital cam. i love holding a 6B pencil and just sketching almost anything. i want to go places armed with a portable sketchbook and draw, instead of take pictures, for a change. i'm currently a member of the everyday matters yahoo group [composed of people who are into journal sketchbooking], and i envy people who make and share art for a living and who actually manage to incorporate art into their daily lives. the closest thing i could get to being artistic in my everyday life is when i use my orange/yellow markers to highlight my notes. hay. what a boring life. lawyers are so uptight and mean and square and i'm nothing like that.

it's raining outside again. we've had consistent sunshiney days last month, i don't know why it had to end so soon. i hate rainy days. it's always correlated with floods, traffic, aggressive drivers, accidents, grouchy moods and wet socks. i'd better wear something rain proof.

music choices..

i'm currently listening to switchfoot's "dare you to move". it's such a perfect alternative band - not too hard metal noisy, and not too senti. mala- lifehouse, three doors down, the calling, nickelback, and all those other bands i never tire of. if you listen to them, they somehow sound alike, but i love them nonetheless. one of switchfoot's songs is included in the spiderman 2 soundtrack.

and then there's keane. i haven't decided yet if i like them. they sound so much like coldplay, except for a distinct difference in the vocalist's voice, and i don't know if it's a good thing 'cause i don't want coldplay to lose its individuality. anyway, you have to listen to keane's "everybody's changing". it sounds like coldplay's "shiver".

franz ferdinand is another band that produces catchy tunes. 'sounds like "the strokes", but better and more fun.

Labels: artsy fartsy, law school, music

  ¶ 11:26 AM 0 comments links to this post  

  so where are all the flying cars?
it's already 2004, and this concept hasn't yet come into fruition. and i believe the country in most dire need of these machines is this third world country i live in, where traffic is hell due to inconsiderate bus drivers and bad flooding problems and overpopulated streets. yesterday, it only rained for about a few minutes, and already, water on the roads rose up to a few inches deep, rushing like a mad river, keeping unfortunate commuters cramped under small waiting sheds. and earlier today, it took me one hour to get home. one hour is normal during the rush hour, but not when it's already 10:30 am and everyone else is either in school or at the office already. i thought there was an accident somewhere, but when i reached the end of the traffic, i found out that there was nothing wrong, it's just that the buses keep on stopping to accommodate passengers and there were just too many cars making a u-turn through the intersection. agh. but of course, flying cars would necessitate new aviation laws and would probably lead to increase in accidents. the problem really lies with the inconsiderate drivers and too many cars being utilized. i don't think the color coding scheme [why is it even called the "color coding" scheme?] and all the converted u-turn passageways have done anything to alleviate the problem.

hay.. :(

only one more day until the insurance midterms and i'm not yet done studying half of it. it bothers me so much knowing that even if i study and memorize all the concepts, i wouldn't do well in the exam anyway, because i get too rattled during exams to even think, and most of our professor's questions require logical thinking. it's just so hard to compete in the midst of people who are innately intelligent, who have good memory and who can think on their feet. gawd. i don't know why the hell UP law accepted me in the first place. the admin is currently worried - actually, alarmed - with the latest bar exam results, where 20+ UP law students didn't pass. and right now they're worried about the studentry for being too lax with schoolwork and for not doing well with what they're tasked to do. i don't know about the others, but as for me, i shouldn't be there. they shouldn't have accepted me because i'm sure there are more people more deserving of my slot and because i am not inherently smart like other people or like my dad. and also i have the tendency to get bored easily and i have a sleeping problem that has distracted me in my studies since i was in high school. and yes, i'm justifying myself in [probably] flunking the insurance exam tomorrow. argh. i hate this. i don't feel successful about anything because i'm not doing well in school, and i have this feeling that sooner or later, i'm liable to flunk law school anyway, and i would be left with no direction and purpose. argh.

and my life is still a meaingless cycle. make it stop please.

Labels: law school, pilipinas, rant

  ¶ 2:45 PM 0 comments links to this post  

  wala lang at dahil na-special mention mo ako sa blog mo..

congrats, oggs, for making it to the Philippine Law Journal [despite your minimal efforts and laid back attitude. hehe.] iba na ang henyo.

at salamat nga pala sa libreng pizza at dahil dinagdag mo ako sa "barkada" kahit nakalimutan mong isulat ang pangalan ko noon. hehehe :D

knock first

i swear, i'm obsessed with this show. earlier today, they featured a room with an indian/moroccan fusion theme, and for a split second, it made me want to change the theme of my room all over again. but i know i'll have to live up to the stars/moons i've always had since i was in college [+ the beach theme i added to the formula just recently]. basta, ang galing. i love designing bedrooms because, while some people just see it as storehouse of all their clothes and books or what-not, i always see it as a reflection of one's personality, a sanctuary where one can have privacy and where one can tune down the sound of the rest of the world. plus the fact that i practically live in my room most of the time. hehe. anyway, this is the kind of reality tv show they should adopt here in the philippines. just imagine how many lucky souls will be getting fantastic room makeovers and receiving free brand new tv sets and i-pods and digital cameras. it's on ETC every saturdays, 6:30 pm and replays will be aired tuesdays, 7:30 pm. go go watch it!

another job to add to my "if i weren't a law student, i would be a ___" list: a "knock first" designer. or interior decorator for that matter. believe me, the list of alternative [and maybe even better and more fun] careers i have is growing everyday. damn law school.

down again

despite everything, i still feel that there's something amiss in my life. i don't know. it's probably the insurance midterms this friday which i haven't studied for yet, or the realization that my life is going round and round in circles, or that i want to be this ideal person but i just can't seem to straighten out my life. there are just a lot of things that i have to iron out and i have a lot of apprehensions about law school again, thinking again that i might fail in this regard and that would really leave me in shambles. i feel that i'm standing now on shaky ground and that i would break down at the slightest nudge of bad fate. agh. sorry for ranting again on and on about this. just needed to let it out.

anyway, i need to study. blech.

Labels: law school, rant

  ¶ 8:22 PM 0 comments links to this post  

 

the past week has been quite eventful for me. more eventful than usual anyway.

thursday: the freshman party

last thursday night, the UP law school government and the sigma rho frat hosted a freshman party at temple bar, in greenbelt, and there was unlimited free beer [at least from 8-10 pm]. looking back, it seems odd why i even went there - i don't like the idea of fraternities or anything of the sort, i am not a freshman, i don't drink, and we had a 9 am class the next day which i haven't studied for yet. but, since oggs gave us discount [and actually forced us to buy tickets. hehe. j/k. i konw he just needed people to laugh at his jokes while he hosted the event :D] and since all my friends [except nico and daisy] were going, i decided to go also. the event was okay, but it would've been better for me if i actually drink beer. everyone else was enjoying while they took advantage of the unlimited beer. i ended up, as predicted, standing in one corner, watching the bands or watching people pass by, and occasionally i would comment about this person or that. it was a good thing mia was with me; she doesn't drink also. the event was successful; the crowd was composed of, obviously, freshmen and frat men/boys. it was like an SR meeting; the frat people kept on shouting whatever in a unison manner like orcs that it got freaky already at some point. [i am not against SR, please don't hate me] we spent the rest of the night in the smoking section because there were seats there and the others had to smoke, until my eyes got strained and watery from all the smoke from the yosi + aircon that i had to leave the room. honestly, i would rather spend lunch at manang's/some other restaurant with my friends where we could laugh and talk with each other without blaring music,, and where we can have good, clean oxygen intake. 'reminds me of my high school days when i was such a loser at parties, watching everyone else dance, drink or smoke while i sit in one corner and do nothing. i am such a boring person. i still managed to have fun that night, nonetheless. i ended up going straight to bed when i got home, neglecting all my sales and torts readings on my study table. tsk tsk. delinquent.

friday: pat's despedida

we had pat's surprise despedida party last friday, at di's house. she's leaving for the states 2 weeks from now to study neuropyschology at stanford. astig! well, it didn't turn out to be a surprise after all; a few days before, she already sort of suspected we were up to something. we didn't have such an organized plan, so we weren't able to think about what alibi we're going to give her. and cesar texted her a few hours before dinner, asking her about the party. hehe.

we had a kiddie party theme, complete with colorful decorations, spaghetti and chicken and loot bags. wala nga lang hotdog with marshmallow na nakatuhog sa cabbage. hehe. i'm sure you remember that from your childhood. credit goes to jonel for the idea and all the decorations. we were supposed to be dressed in kiddie outfits, and he was supposed to wear an LA lopez outfit with the jersey and cap, but we didn't push through with it anymore. i still wore a spongebob shirt though. there were a lot of food left; we were expecting a bigger turnout, but a lot of people couldn't make it due to personal reasons. later on that night, we realized that pat was vegetarian, no wonder she only ate a slice of shrimp pizza from yellow cab. haha. stupid stupid. it was good seeing the harkadah and other psych blockmates once again after a long time. we updated each other about life and love life and the others had fun with the videoke. two years later, we still haven't changed much from our crazy collge selves.

pics



jonel, pat and joan

saturday: the freshmen night/miss freshman pageant

fyi, the miss freshman pageant actually doesn't have anything to do with pretty beauty queen girls - the contestants are crossdresser freshman law boys who try to outdo each other at being kinky/bastos. hehe. the event was admittedly better this year. they had an "american idol"/hawaiian theme [they had the title "idolaw". the first letter is pronounced as a short i], which beats the 70's theme they had last year, there were more decorations, the presentations [especially the stunt by siege from I-A] and the judges were really funny. i think more people even came this year. i didn't really like the idea back then, but now i think it's actually fun, in a jologs/bakya/noontime variety show kind of way. filipinos never get tired of that. and at least it gave our brains a rest from all the stress from studying [what studying? hehe].

i went there with jen, grace and chi. grace, chi and i had a part in the event, by the way - we were tasked to judge the freshman dance performances. since chi and the other winlaw members left early, grace and i ended up going in front to give the award and certificate to the hosts [oggs was one of them, and the other one called me pocahontas. o k a y. do i even look like her?? well at least i wasn't compared again to this obscure person from "click"..] one of the sections danced to the tune of the viva hot babes' song, "bulaklak" and they were all game in doing the dance steps. i think it's nice that all the girls in their class participated and that they were so into the event. in short, hindi sila corny. they ended up as the champions [adding up their points in all the games + the miss freshman, etc.]. al, who was from the same section, also won first place in the pageant. they didn't win first place in the dance performance though, but i think they got second place

i also met up with pat, who came there with katha. we later on ate at "munch" in katipunan with neil and oggs. the event ended at around 11:30 pm. i think last year it only ended at 10. it was a wrong move that we didn't have dinner before the freshman night.

i think oggs might have finally found his other half. hehe joke lang oggs :D


F4 person turned beauty drag queen hehe

al, ms. freshman 2004. everyone was rooting for siege [see F4 guy above] because of his comedy bar-worthy talent, but al gave a more witty answer in the question and answer portion. so there.

my parents are going to kill me for going home late for three nights in a row. now i haven't even studied yet for anything this week, and it's already 6 in the evening. and i'm worried about the insurance midterms this friday. agh. sige, mag-aaral na nga.

Labels: harkadah, law school

  ¶ 6:17 PM 0 comments links to this post