last night, penny treated the harkadah [ half of us at least - jenny, wex and me ] dinner at big buddha, in greenbelt 3, then at bizu for dessert. i always look forward to seeing the harkadah because we always relive the good old college days when we're together. it's comforting to know that no matter how long it has been since we last saw each other, no one has changed one bit. we don't have to be pretentious or anything in front of each other. we can dress as casually as we want and no one would even care. we can be as jolog as we want and well, no one would even care. we could also talk about serious stuff more openly, without any apprehensions or setbacks, without any threat that our well-hidden secrets might find their way out of the group. and they're the only ones who share the same interests as i do. wala lang. i just miss them is all. i just hope we could see each other more frequently despite the time constraints.
good buys
crayons
i've been feeling artsy fartsy these past few days that i've actually started drawing on my sketchbook journal. it's not yet done, so i haven't uploaded the drawing. anyway, i bought myself a set of caran d'ache crayons. i know it may sound unreasonable to spend 1050 bucks for a set of 30 crayons, but i've been obsessed with this brand of art material since i was in 6th grade. this is actually my third set already - the first one i got from my dad [ i can't remember really how or why he gave it to me. all i know is that it was bought from some other part of the world ], which i overused until i was in first year high school. the second set i got from hongkong, when we went there for vacation during the summer before 2nd year. i decided to buy it since it costs much less there than in the phil. i kept on using that set in all my school projects and i always came up with pretty good works. my teacher/classmates would compliment my works and the crayons, as if it was more responsible for the result than i was. i distinctly remember sir fernandez [ our asian history/homeroom teacher who we hated at the time, but looking back, turned out to be one of the greatest teachers in high school ] saying that i should take care of it because it may prove to be useful even until i get to college. sadly, all throughout college, the set remained untouched, stored in a box hidden under my bed. i never actually drew anything when i was in college and always felt that i was too old for it or i had more important things to do. besides, i was happy with my life as it was. although there was an urge to draw every now and then, i would easily brush the thought away and continue doing other things i find equal satisfaction in. so anyway, i missed using my caran d'ache crayons when one of mr. sena's assistants in art class told me that the best brand for cray pas would be caran d'ache, but it costs more than 1k. when i went home that day, i looked for my set at home, only to find it missing. i suddenly remembered that i gave it away to patti/bianca because i felt that i won't be using it anymore anyway. besides, the pieces were all broken and they would be too inconvenient to use. i felt so bad about it that i just had to buy a new set. hence, this set. buying it felt like being reunited with an old friend i've neglected for a time. i hope i could find the time and confidence to draw more, no matter how ugly they turn out to be.
and i'm getting all mushy over a set of crayons. hehehe.
a copy of "wala lang" by bud tomas
i read about this in inquirer last week. it's a collection of essays on just about anything from the point of view of the author. what makes it interesting is that he wrote these essays and sent them through e-mail as an outlet for his thoughts/stress reliever during his law student years in UP law.
a copy of "neverwhere" by neil gaiman
i've developed a liking for neil gaiman lately, since neil lent me issue 2 of the sandman series. i just started reading it, but already i want to read the rest of his works. [ oh yeah, i already read his children's book, "coraline" before i gave it to patti as a present on her 8th birthday. hehe. ] i also liked the graphics. i hope someday i'll learn to be an illustrator.
Labels: artsy fartsy, birthday, books, harkadah
- a remake from green day
today's the day i told my dad that i want to quit law school. and of course i was urged to finish at least the second sem and "we'll see afterwards" [ which translates to "you continue law school or you'll be condemning yourself to death" ]. it was definitely not a PLDT commercial moment [ "dad, mag-shift na ako sa fine arts, ayoko na mag-duktor".. "kung san ka masaya anak, suportahan kata" ] and ended in shouting and tears. i hate how life is always depicted to be supposedly perfect and ends "happily ever after". damn fairy tales.
anyway, i don't thing i'll muster enough courage or strength anyway to quit law school. actually, i don't know if pursuing law school or quitting it would be the more "courageous" decision. in any case, the more realistic turnout would be i'll be persuaded by most of my blockmates to finish the course [ as evidenced in the e-group ], and for lack of a back-up plan [ i.e., i haven't actually searched for a good arts school in the US ], i would continue the damn course, no matter how damned it be or how damned my life will turn out trying to finish it [ to quote nico, "being the masochists that we are.." ].
maybe it just feels good to actually let out how i feel to the person who made this all possible, and being the evil person that i am, i find pleasure in knowing that someone else feels worse than i do as regards this whole law school issue. well, i feel surprisingly better after letting it all out, regardless of the result.
so, i'll probably study for the removals, do my best in the damn law school, and continue my life as a forever dependent student. and probably give up my dreams of becoming a graphic designer/media person/whatever art related career. but hopefully jenny and i could still pursue our graphic design business. hehe. dream on.
Labels: law school, rant
i'm all better now, something i'm really thankful for. i can eat as much as i want once again! hehe. going on a forced diet is not good at all. it was...sad. awhile ago, i devoured more than a cup of rice and chicken corn cakes at our favorite thai resto, thai kitchen, in tomas morato, with my mom and neil. yes. i am back in action. hehe.
afterwards, we went to megamall. i honestly hate megamall because it's always crowded and i can't always seem to find the shops i want. nevertheless, i still managed to shop. i bought, for the nth time, a pair of rubber flip flops, this a pair of white havaianas from chocolate. neil bought a pair of shoes also from the same store.
went home afterwards, finished the drawing i have to submit for art class.
well, things have been ok, but of course my troubles [ on law school, what else ] are not yet over. see next paragraph.
the grades for sales law were released this morning. and i got... *drumroll*... a 2.75! gawd i am so stupid. i honestly want to quit law school. isn't it obvious yet that UP is undoing its reversible error of accepting me and is already taking steps to pull me out of its roster of scholars ["ng bayan"]? i always feel that i'm wasting away precious years by being in law school because, after this is all over, i wouldn't want to become a lawyer anyway. i hate the stress, the fact that all lawyers are evil in one way or another, the corruption, the frats, the egoism. i hate it when i see lawyers on tv/in magazines wearing their black/gray suits looking all serious and downright boring and think that i'll be like that in the future. ugh. i hate debates and saying how many "therefors" and "thereofs" in a single sentence and outdated laws and bar exams and everything that the profession is made of. i'm only in law school because of the prestige, the money and my father. i am there for such a selfish motive that i deserve to be kicked out and transferred to a less stressful venture.
haa... damn.
Labels: law school, random, rant
Philippine Advertising Convention
i really want to go to the convention. but i don't know if my parents would shell out money for something which won't benefit my future career as a lawyer [if any]. but i'll see what i can do.. i wanna go.. screw law school..
Labels: law school, rant
but, as william hung said, "i've tried my best, i have no regrets at all." so that's it. mwehe.
i'm not exactly sure when was the last time i've been to greenhills, but i'm certain that the last time i went there, they didn't sell as much export overruns, they didn't have those sheer summer shirts i've been wanting to buy back in the US [ but i wasn't able to because i thought they were too expensive at $15 and up ], they didn't have a pay lounge/restroom, and most of the shops in the newly constructed carpark were still closed. i just got overwhelmed with all the choices and the low prices that i think i overspent again. at least i didn't use the credit card this time, and i was able to buy a lot of stuff with the budget i had. the amount i've spent wouldn't go so far in topshop or in the states.
i resumed going to the gym yesterday also, and i ended up getting so exhausted afterwards that i got a major headache and threw up all i ate for dinner. argh. sayang. i planned a harkadah dinner pa naman and i ended up leaving after 30 minutes and eating only a portion of the mushroom pasta i ordered.
for some reason, i still have a tummy ache, and i still can't go back to the gym because i feel that i'm too weak to work out. hayyy..
Labels: law school, rant
saturday night: 'attended pao's sister's debut with neil at intramuros. his whole barkada was there. the event reminded me again of how old i am. hehe. the whole event was nice, the food was great [ i have to postpone my diet for the nth time ]; there was an open bar [ 'had a few drinks of kahlua which tastes like bailey's and biogesic. ], and dancing [ although i didn't dance ]. i liked the whole garden setting and the program. it made me nostalgic about my own debut [ 4 long years ago ], which is strangely still fresh in my memory.
afterwards, we went to sidebar in malate with neil's barkada. the whole place was packed, as always.
sunday night-this morning: 'went to cj's house in tagaytay with law school blockmates. grace, mia, oggs and i left katipunan at 4:30 pm yesterday and arrived there at around 6. there was no traffic at all. 'had a few drinks of ginpom and amarula which tastes a little better than bailey's and biogesic. 'spent the rest of the night eating, bonding with the group [ we were all subjected to really strange questions. hehe. no shocking revelations/chismis though ] and sleeping in small intervals. i probably slept ahead of everyone else. and the same applies to my study time. we were supposed to have a vacation to forget about law school, but we ended up discussing about property exam questions at some point. aaaggghhh.. 'had a few pics with my lomo.
[ i should've brought with me a glass of chocolate drink on both occasions instead. i hate the biogesic aftertaste ]
when i arrived home earlier, i slept the whole afternoon, then ate chicken nuggets when i woke up. and i haven't even taken a bath yet 'cause we don't have water till 5:30 pm. gawd. buhay baboy talaga. there goes my conviction to change my sedentary lifestyle.
agh. property exam results will be released today. agh. 'still not done with the labor homework. [ unfortunately, we still have homework ]
jasmine trias is currently in the country. she's probably already overworked with all the ads, mtv's, concerts she has to finish during her stay here. anyway, i still like her, although i don't agree with her being overexposed [ with ALL the big ads with her face all over the city and all the articles about her in the papers ]. it's ironic how she looks more pinay than any of the local "star circle quest" or "star search" finalists... filipinos just love chinese/mestiza girls/guys and often leave the dark-skinned ones to their misery. oh well. the story of my life.
another proof that i'm old: i recently discovered in a magazine who the lead singer of spongecola is, and i recognized the name - he's the younger brother of the director [ yanny ] of our play back in high school, when i enrolled in an acting class for summer in ateneo [ i know that was a self-incriminating sentence, but yes, i did join an acting class once in my life ]. the last time i saw him was when i was around 13/14 , and spongecola lead singer was probably on his pre-growth spurt years. he was, i think, only 9 or 10. yanny brought him along in one of our rehearsals, and my last memory of him was the small guy wearing a pink shirt, carrying a coleman and a big bag, with his head hanging low. i don't even remember him speaking at all during that time. and look at him now, he's all grown up. not that i'm expecting to see the same little boy again after 9 years; it's just that i didn't expect time to fly this fast.
what's worse, i still have the brain of an 11 year old. i don't think i ever grew up.
okay, i have to drag my butt out of this chair and take a bath. i don't think this lack of pressure in my life is doing me any good. hay.
Labels: law school, sem break
we ate at napoli with some blockmates after the exam, all of us feeling drained because of it. i realized i won't be seeing some of them until next sem already. the others i'll probably see on sunday, when we go to tagaytay, or when we watch dvd's at oggs' place probably next week.
well, at least it's all over. i have three weeks to recuperate.
and about the long list of things to do during the sem break i've been planning about since the start of finals week... [ unrealistic or not ]
funny how i always have this illusion that a few days of break would ultimately change my whole life cycle. oh well.
good ol' starbucks
i studied the whole afternoon again yesterday at starbucks. studying there regularly for the past two weeks, i found myself growing attached to the place. it suddenly had a more homey ambiance. and everytime i go there, i see the same faces. it's uncanny how i always see the same people even if i go there at different periods of the day. most of them i only know by face, but the familiarity just gives it a more comfortable feel. occasionally, i also bump into some people that our outside my regular social routine [ i saw joan there last night by chance ]. wala lang. i hope next sem i'll have the same motivation to study there [or anywhere for that matter] regularly and not just to cram for the finals.
gayuma's back!
fyi: gayuma is a restaurant in katipunan that burned down a few months ago. it reopened to a different location, but still near katipunan. neil and i were even lucky enough to get complimentary desserts the past week [ "pavlova" and the famous "better than sex" dessert ]. i love that place. it just brings back a lot of college memories that i still hold on - or cling to - up to now...
i had two recent good buys: arnold arre's book, "after eden" [ which i bought last night after hours of studying in katipunan. i stayed up till 2 am reading it. i just hope i could do the same while reading my notes :P 'finally finished it this afternoon ] and a handmade sketchbook journal i bought from nat, who gave the bookbinding workshop i wanted to attend to last week. wala lang. good thing i have other things to keep me and happy and counterattack the bad exams i've had for the past week..
Labels: law school, sem break
we've already had three exams so far, three more to go. my brain feels so drained out - when i attempted to study yesterday, my brain just couldn't process anything. i was literally staring into blank space, and i swear i could feel the insurance law concepts evaporating from my brain every second.
last monday, i studied at starbucks with neil the whole day for the crimpro finals. there are always a lot of distractions in starbucks and coincidentally, they're always the same people. every once in a while, i had to stop studying and neil had to stop reading pugad baboy and we would just giggle uncontrollably because of another weirdo in the cafe. at the end of the day, i felt a cold coming. i caught a cold in good ol' starbucks, hopefully not from one of those people. and i also realized that my left foot was swelling, presumably caused by some unknown insect [at starbuck's??]. but at least i was able to study there and stay awake the whole time.
in studying for the sales finals, i decided to skip starbucks because of the virus going around and because my condition got worse. ii tried my best to keep myself awake by drinking red bull energy drink, but i realized that it had the same effect on me as a nafarin-a tablet - yes, they both make me feel drowsy.
we had the insurance finals awhile ago, and i'm so glad it's over. i lost all hope already about the exam, and on my way to school, i was already thinking about filing a leave of absence till the next school year or quitting law school for good just in case i don't get passing marks on the exams. but, the exam turned out better than expected. i dare not say it was easy, but at least it was tolerable, and i expected worse. not much memorization required. as i said, my brain was down yesterday, so i really didn't study much. nakakatamad na kasi mag-isip. i just skimmed the whole reviewer and ocassionally memorized a few concepts which never got retained in my brain anyway, and i didn't even bother to review what i studied. i studying late afternoon, and i remembered falling asleep from 3-4:30 pm, 6:30-11 pm, 2-4:00 am, and 5-6 am. gawd, i don't know how i was able to squeeze in studying within those hours. anyway, at around 11 pm last night, mama woke me up, and told me that a pretty strong earthquake [intensity of 6.6!] hit the city a few minutes ago. but of course, even the damn earthquake didn't wake me up.
lesson for the week: i guess when you really want to sleep and the bed just looks too inviting, no energy drink or earthquake could separate you from it.
we treated ourselves to a lunch at chockiss after the exam. it has been a while since we last ate there, and we discovered that prices in the menu have gone up. oh well. they were sharing their earthquake stories, but of course i had none because i was sound asleep at the time. and we were already planning our sem break/christmas/summer vacations as if we don't have three more exams to go.
can't wait for the sem break..
Labels: law school
i feel uneasy right now. classes are over, exams start in two days, and i feel like i'm just floating around, awaiting my uncertain fate. i always feel like i'm going to get kicked out of law school a few days before the finals. maybe because i'm just not very confident about taking the exams, that i've resigned to the thought that i won't do well anyway, and i feel that two days of cramming won't make up for one whole sem of slacking off. hay.
i realized i haven't blogged for more than a week [ damn dial-up internet connection. nagloloko nanaman!! ]. well, last week, i've screwed up another recitation for crimpro, and it felt really bad and heavy afterwards because i feel that i failed our prof one more time. i won't be surprised if he stops teaching because of one stupid student who just couldn't get it. and i would never forgive myself if he did. hay.
i still don't know if i'm on the right track by being in law school. for sure, there are a hundred other things i'm more interested in and i would rather do than be in law school [ hmm.. be a freelance graphic designer, work with films, work in a magazine, be a writer, an art therapist, art teacher, child psychologist, interior decorator, doctor [?], xerox lady, taxi driver hehe ], and i know that i don't possess any of the skills/the endurance to become a good lawyer [ i hate debates, i hate public speaking, i hate politics, i hate corruption, i find the law extremely boring ] but i really can't back out of this due to practical reasons, my father, his and my reputation, and my messianic complex.
*cringe*
there's this bookbinding workshop i want to attend on oct. 8-10, but i have exams on the 8th and 9th, and i have to study for the exams on the 11th. and it costs 5 thou. oh well.
and i want to buy a frogeye. where will i get P4,500??
i already have a long list of things to do once the finals are over.
sana sem break na.
Labels: law school
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brushes for the banner from echoica, encre and trashion art.
